Shinigami's Despair
by Okii Ichigo
Summary: Chi is also a bored shinigami-like Ryuk- but doesn't have a Death Note to spare, so she decides to watch the 'Kira' case unfold. Then, she sees L, and... LxOC-ish
1. Chi

_Okii Ichigo: Ok, so I understand this chapter is EXTREMELY short, but this was just a quick idea that ran through my head today and so I decided to quickly get it down. Please tell me what you think and if I should write more. _

_Thanks, and enjoy!_

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_So, this is it. My new home._

Truthfully, I had always imagined that the shinigami realm would be, I dunno, more INTRESTING. I could see why Venom had complained nonstop about the boring-ness of this place. It was grey, dull, dead, and shinigami laid everywhere lazily.

"Ah, Chi. It's been a while, eh?" A face made of rotted flesh and hollowed out eyes smiled wickedly at me.

"Hey, Venom." I gave a small smile to my ex-shinigami. "It hasn't been that long."

"I guess you're right. Sorry for writing your name in my Death Note. But, I told you I had to from the start." He scanned me up and down with his eyes (or lack thereof). "Wow, I must say, you look rather good for a shinigami. You haven't changed that much at all. And I see you still have Aiko-chan."

"Yeah…" I grinned at my kitten—or now, I guess she was just the skeleton of my kitten. Didn't matter. She'll always be my baby. "So…Uh… Are mom and dad here?" I eyed Venom nervously.

"No. Chi, you were the only one that used the Death Note. I told you that once you died you would go to the Great Nothingness. Well, here you are."

_Wait, THIS is the 'Great Nothingness' he told me about? The shinigami realm?_

"Yeah, I knew that they wouldn't be here. I just wanted to ask anyway." I stared at the ugly, dull ground.

"Now, stop sulking and come over here so I can teach you how to play our favorite game here. Trust me; games will become your number one hobby. The shinigami realm gets pretty boring after awhile."

"Yeah…Ok."

**[Hundreds of years later…]**

"Well… I'd better get going" Ryuk stood up and started walking away.

Another shinigami piped in, "Hate to tell you, but our whole world looks like this."

"That's true, but I've dropped my Death Note." Ryuk didn't bother turning around. All the shinigami around thought it was pretty funny and burst out laughing.

"You really messed things up, didn't ya?"

"Hold on, didn't you already trick the old man into getting a second book? Don't tell me you dropped both of them!"

"You must have some idea where you dropped the thing!"

"Yeah… The human world." With that, Ryuk walked away to go to the boundary that separated this world from theirs. I followed him as the shinigami behind me exchanged surprised 'what?'s. Although Ryuk knew I was following him, we walked in silence. Once we reached the boundary, he unfolded his wings and gave me a quick glance.

"See ya, kid." And with that, he flew down into the human world.

The human world… Maybe I should pay it a visit as well…

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	2. Watching

_Okii Ichigo: Thanks people who read and reviewed!_

_Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (too bad…) but I DO own my OCs._

_Oh, and Happy Easter! xD_

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"See ya, kid." And with that, Ryuk flew down into the human world.

The human world… Maybe I should pay it a visit as well.

With a sigh, I settled into a crouched over sitting position to watch Ryuk through the portal. It sounded a lot more fun than playing those stupid card and gambling games with the other shinigami. _I wonder where he's going…_

Ryuk flew down through the thunder storm that had started (which I thought was a fitting entrance for a shinigami) and headed towards a normal looking house. _Why would he drop it there? Unless… Hmm… I wonder if a human found it…_

Through the portal you can look at anything you want to, so I decided to look into the window that Ryuk had stopped at. There was a boy in there that looked like he'd be a pretty good student. He started laughing with a laugh that didn't sound like he was just some happy dude who had gotten a good grade on an exam. He sounded crazy. Then I saw it… He was holding a Death Note. And, wow, he had written a LOT of names in it.

_Ha, Ryuk is pretty screwed over… _I thought, happily. I mean, at least it gave me something to do. Or… Watch, I guess.

"You've taken quite a liking to it." Ryuk's voice made the boy gasp loudly and turn around. He saw Ryuk in a flash of lightning and screamed and threw himself on the ground. "No reason to act surprised. I am the shinigami Ryuk. That used to be my notebook. Judging by your laughter, you've already figured out what you have is no ordinary notebook."

Light's (I could see his name with my shinigami eyes now that I finally saw his face) eyes tightened before he stood up and spoke. "A shinigami… A god of death, huh? Well, I'm not surprised. In fact, Ryuk, I've been waiting for you."

"Oh?"

"I've already figured out this Death Note I found is real. It didn't take me long. And now that I've witnessed the proof of its power, I already feel more confident in what I'm gonna do."

"That's interesting. I certainly wasn't expecting this. Several Death Notes have made their way into the human world in the past, but you're the first to have written this many names. Look at how many people you've already killed in only five days." Ryuk stared at the notebook in awe. "Most are reluctant to write this much."

Light sat down and smirked. "I've already prepared myself, Ryuk. I used the notebook even though I knew it belonged to a shinigami, and now that shinigami has come." I thought I could faintly see him start to sweat. "So, what'll happen to me? You're here to take my soul, right?" At that, I literally laughed out loud. _Take your soul?_

"Huh? Whaddya mean? Is that some fantasy you humans came up with?" Ryuk looked Light straight in the eye. "I'm not gonna do anything to you." Light gave Ryuk a blank stare. "The notebook becomes part of the human realm from the very moment it touches the earth. In other words, the notebook is now yours."

"This… Is mine?" _Duh, that's what Ryuk just said…_

"If you don't want it, just give it to someone else. But, I'd have no choice to erase your memories of the notebook." I hoped this Light person kept the notebook. He would be one of the few humans who would actually write names in it, others would be too scared to. He could make good entertainment for me.

"So then, you're saying I can use the Death Note all I want and I won't be punished?" Light looked really surprised, and he—

"Hey, Chi! We're about to start a new game!" Venom held up a bowl with some skulls in it. They were gambling. "You wanna play?"

I grinned at my ex-shinigami. "You know I'm not a big fan of gambling."

Venom gave me a very disapproving look. "Well, it seems more interesting than sitting over a portal and watching humans all day. They're so boring. C'mon Chi, ever since you've been here you haven't even tried talking to anyone except me." He looked at me hard for a second and added, "And Ryuk, but he's gone now."

I couldn't help but feel bad. Venom HAD been my shinigami, and in a weird sorta way I was attached to him. He had been there through the toughest times in my life. I knew I probably thought more him then he did of me and that I shouldn't flatter myself. It's not like he really wanted ME to play, but they needed another player and he knew I kinda followed him around the most. But still… I did feel a little bad…

"Okay, fine. But you'll have to teach me how to play again. I suck at remembering things."

He and the rest of the group gave grunting noises of approval. "'Kay. C'mon over here and we'll teach you."

"Just a sec…" I peered back down the portal. I had missed quite a bit of what happened. I wanted to see what Light was going to do with the Death Note.

"…Will slowly be erased through disease and accidental death. Then, and only then the world will start moving in the right direction. It'll be a new world, free of injustice and populated by people who I've judged to be honest, kind, and hardworking." _So, he planned to make the world a better place, huh?_

"But if you did that it would make you the only bad person left." _You tell 'em, Ryuk. _I grinned.

"Chi! Hurry!" The other shinigami were getting impatient.

"—Huh? Oh, one more sec…" I muttered, still focusing on Light and Ryuk.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Light started. "I'm a hard-working honor student who's considered to be one of Japan's best and brightest." Ryuk was staring at Light with a look of utter amusement.

"Best and brightest?" I whispered. "Someone has an ego."

"-And I…" Light clenched his hand into a fist. "I will become the god of this new world!" I chuckled loudly.

"Chi? What's so funny? C'mon we wanna start now!"

I had to go. _Well, at least I got to see what Light is gonna do. _Before I left, I stole one last glance at Ryuk. He was literally trembling with joy. I could practically hear him thinking 'Humans are so interesting!'

_This sounds like it could be fun…_Also, this only made me want to go to the human world even more.

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_Okay, and now I'll answer reviews! (Yeah, I know, I find it shocking that I'm not putting this off too… XD)_

_xXImmortalsxDiceXx: __Haha, thanks. xD_

_-Koka Kola Kid-: __Thanks! I watched the directors cut of Death Note and it pointed to Light becoming a shinigami, so I was thinking then that maybe the shinigami realm was the 'Great Nothingness'. _

_Oh, and just in case anyone's thinking 'I thought this says L is in it!' he is. He just isn't in it yet. Don't worry, he'll be in the series soon enough. _

_Please review! _


	3. L

_Okii Ichigo: Sadly, I don't own Death Note._

_Yay, I finally typed this up! I was feeling rather lazy this week… XD_

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I stood over the portal to the human world hugging Aiko-chan and sighing. _I can't believe I'm about to do this._

My intense interest for the whole 'Kira' thing had grown big time. I had been spending probably a little TOO much time sitting over the portal and watching Light, Ryuk, and L. And, after the events that had been going on recently, I decided I didn't just want to be a spectator anymore.

**[Flashback]**

It was another dreary day in the shinigami realm, and as all the other shinigami sat around playing card games, I stared into the portal. I had been here so much it could practically be called 'Chi's spot.' Anyway, the whole 'Light Yagami' thing had grown even more interesting as humans had found out that someone was killing the criminals, and had named him 'Kira.' Then, after a large meeting, it had been decided to put 'L', the world's greatest detective on the case. I sat back laughing at Light's expressions as he killed a fake L, or 'Lind L. Taylor' on TV, and then the real L's altered voice came on and pretty much told Light off. I liked this 'L' person.

I usually only watched Light (except when he was in school; talk about BORING… He was such a smarty pants) but when I heard that Light's father, Soichiro Yagami, and the rest of the Task Force were going to meet L in person, I HAD to watch them instead.

I stared with anticipation as Mr. Yagami reached the door in the hotel L was in and knocked.

"It's unlocked. Please, let yourselves in."

I felt my dead heart pound in my chest. _God, I hope he's a freak. That would make everything even more interesting. _Mr. Yagami grabbed the long, golden handle and slowly turned it. I held my breath, but quickly released it to laugh loudly when I saw the Task Force's expressions after they saw L. Then I turned my attention to look at L too.

He wasn't the kind of freak I had pictured (I'd pictured some REALLY weird looking dude), but he didn't exactly look like the kind of guy who'd be the world's greatest detective. He wore a plain long-sleeved white t-shirt and jeans instead of a suit, and he had messy black hair instead of that neat brushed back hair you would have expected on the world's greatest detective. Under his eyes were dark, black bags from lack of sleep, and on his face he wore a bored expression as he scratched one of his feet with the other and itched the back of his head with his hand. _Finally, his real name is… L Lawliet, _I noticed with my shinigami eyes. And, it could be that I'm just a complete freak (I mean, I am a shinigami; can't get any stranger than that), but in a weird way, he was kinda… Um… Attractive? That's such a lame word, but I'll go with that.

"I'm L," He said with a tone that matched the bored look on his face. The Task Force each took turns introducing themselves as well.

"Uhh… I'm Yagami, of the NPA."

"Um… Matsuda."

"I'm Aizawa."

"Mogi."

"Ukita."

"I'm very sorry we're late," Mr. Yagami spoke again, "currently, the five of us are-"

"Bang!" Mr. Yagami was cut off by L holding up his hand in the shape of a gun and pretending to shoot the Task Force. Of course, this resulted in more loud laughter from me.

"Hey, why's Chi always sitting over that portal laughing? Humans really aren't that interesting," I heard two shinigami muttering behind me.

"Yeah, she's pretty weir-"

"SHH!" I hushed them quickly and focused back in to the portal, ignoring the odd stares the shinigami (I hadn't looked at them, so I didn't know exactly who they were).

The task force all let out gasps and shocked noises after L pretended to shoot them, followed by Aizawa's, "what the hell was that?!" A slight look of annoyance flashed across L's face and he lowered his hand before answering.

"If I were Kira, you'd be dead Mr. Soichiro Yagami, Chief of the NPA." More startled noises from the Task Force. L turned and continued. "Kira needs a face and a name in order to commit murder. But I'm sure you already figured that much out, haven't you?" He paused and looked directly at the Task Force. "Please do not give out your names so carelessly. Instead, lets value our lives." That made a pang of hurt rush through me. I wish I had valued my life.

"I knew he needed a face to kill someone, but I don't remember any evidence that showed he needed a name too," Matsuda whispered to Mr. Yagami.

"There is no way to verify if this is related, but criminals who's names were never released publicly or who's names were spelled incorrectly in the media have not been targeted. We briefly went over it in one of our meetings." This 'L' person really was as smart as everyone said he was. He had already figured out that much in so little time? Maybe 'Kira' wouldn't be around for too much longer.

"That's enough small talk for now, come this way." The Task Force turned in their cell phones and got to work going through the many files L had on the Kira case, whilst I watched astonished at how quickly he was figuring everything out. I don't think I had ever seen or met any human who was that bright.

**[End Flashback]**

That had just been the start of my fascination of L. I had started watching him more and more and watching Light a little less frequently. Now, I only watched Light to see who he was killing and him ranting about his plans to start a new world. He had really started to piss me off when he killed Raye Penber and his fiancée. They hadn't done anything wrong. Yeah, I know I'm supposed to be a shinigami that loved death, but I was a human once; and just in case you hadn't noticed, I wasn't exactly a normal shinigami. I didn't sit around all day playing stupid games.

Each day, I supported L more and Kira less. Then, I finally made the decision that had been haunting my consciousness for weeks. I was going to the human world.

At midnight (in Japan), I stretched out my wings (actually, they more 'grew' out of my back; yeah, I know it's creepy, but what about a shinigami isn't?). They were huge, black, and somewhat resembled bat wings. After a deep breath, I jumped through the portal, holding Aiko-chan to my chest. The wind whipped furiously around me, and I quickly caught it in my wings and started flying. The cool night air in the human world felt great, and the big moon and stars speckling the sky were amazing from up in the sky. All the buildings looked light ants. Ants with Christmas lights. It was so bright on the ground even though it was the middle of the night.

As I descended, I thought through my decision once more. Should I really be here? Well, it beat the shinigami realm. I hope they wouldn't be angry with me, especially because I hadn't told anyone I was going. _Yeah, I'm in for it when I get back._

I already knew where I was going; L's hotel. Yeah, okay I know that might seem a little creepy, but he was just too interesting, and the Task Force was there too so it's not like I'm just stalking L. Also, I didn't have anywhere else to go. Like heck I was going back to the shinigami realm, and if I went to where Ryuk was, Light would find out and tell me to show myself to him. Then, he'd somehow get me all twisted in to his evil plan and use me. Or at least try to. I didn't plan on getting involved at all; I wasn't going to even show myself to L. I was just the audience.

A small sigh escaped my lips as my feet hit the ground right in front of the hotel, and I almost laughed at the thought of the reactions of the humans if they could see me. After that quick speculation, I scanned the buildings all around me. _Things sure have changed since I was alive…_ Being back in the human world was exciting and depressing at the same time. It brought back memories of my life; memories I'd rather forget.

I'm not quite sure what year I was born, or what year I died. But, I do remember that there were distinct classes. The rich, who lived in fancy houses and wore fancy clothes of silk and whatnot; the middle-class/workers who lived in less fancy houses and actually worked to make a living; and finally, the dirt poor who'd been born with nothing, lived on the streets, and had to beg and scavenge for food. I had been born into nothing, I was dirt poor.

The fact that we were dirt poor never pleased my parents, and they thought they were above begging. So, instead they stole. They stole everything from food to jewels, and when I was old enough they got me to do the dirty work.

One day, I'd been walking with Aiko-chan (I had her even back when I was alive) and noticed something black on the ground, and upon closer inspection I noticed I had found a book. A 'Death Note' to be exact. At that moment, I was happier than ever that I had taught myself to read. After reading the rules, I tried it out with my blood (I didn't have a pen, and due to the circumstances I'd grown up in, blood-loss was no big deal for me). I first tried it out on the richest man known around this area, and I rejoiced when one of his servants ran from his house screaming that he was dead. That was all the proof I needed to tell that the note was real. When I ran off to go tell my parents about the 'gift' I'd received, I ran into Venom.

I hadn't screamed at Venom's rotted flesh or his explaining that when I died I would go to the Great Nothingness. I thought he was cool, and I didn't care where I went as long as I pleased my parents. When, my parents touched my 'Death Note,' they screamed and Venom had quickly explained it's power, which shut them up. They were delighted that I could now kill and be of even more use to them. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think that they actually loved me.

Although there wasn't 'internet' or 'technology' back when I lived, rumors quickly spread when people found out that somebody was killing all of the rich people and stealing their jewels, food, and valuables.

I remember the last day of my freedom perfectly. I'd been filling out another rich man's name in my Death Note, when Aiko-chan hissed at me. She'd never hissed at me before, but I had just guessed she was still getting used to Venom (I had touched her with the Death Note). I only found out later that it was a warning. After I finished filling out the man and his servant's names, my parents came up with a quick plan on how we were going to rob this house. I was to get the jewels, mother was going to get food, and father was going to get other valuables. I ran into the house first, so I was caught first. They had sent people into the house to catch us.

When they took us to prison, my mother and father told me to show them my Death Note's power. I got one of the guards to tell me his name, and quickly wrote it down. He of course died after 40 seconds. After taking a quick glance at everyone's scared faces, something unexpected happened- my own mother and father accused me of 'controlling them with my notebook.' They also said that there was a demon in the notebook, and if anyone touched it they'd die, so none of the men touched it. Instead, they sent me off to prison and let my 'oh-so-innocent' parents go.

I spent around ten years in prison, from the age of 12 (I think) to about 22, when they finally decided on death penalty. I was to be hung and cremated, along with my Death Note and 'demon-cat.' Venom had gotten bored when I was in prison and I think he knew I was going to die, so he had ditched me within the first few months of prison. What I didn't know is that I was going to the shinigami realm. At first, the only thing I wanted to do was talk to my parents again- no, actually more like scream at them. But, seeing as they'd never written any names in the Death Note, I never saw them again. I really wanted to scare the living poop out of them with my new death god appearance. My once deep, chocolate brown hair had turned black; my brown eyes had turned blood red; I now had black kitty ears and a tail (probably from the fact that Aiko-chan was my best friend and I had always had the attitude of a cat); I wore a knee-length white dress stained with a lot of blood; I got a burnt looking Death Note (most likely because mine had been burnt with my body); and finally, my favorite part was the fact that I now could randomly pull out a humongous scythe. If I saw my parents again, I'd definitely pull out my scythe and scare them to death while screaming at them. I really hated my mother and father.

Being back in the human world tore open the wound my parents had left in my heart when they'd ditched me.

Shaking those thoughts out of my head, I flew up to the window of the room that L was in and simply walked through it. Aiko-chan purred as soon as she walked into the room.

"Do you think L is interesting too?" I asked her knowing no one could hear me. She gave an adorable mew as a response. I loved her so much, even though she was just a skeleton now. I smiled warmly at her, "Good, because I think we're going to be spending a lot of time here."

I peered around the room and saw him. I felt like if I had any blood left in me, then it'd definitely be staining my cheeks pink. Wow. I'm really acting like a hormonal teenage girl. But it actually was pretty amazing watching him work. He figured things out so easily.

---

It had been a few hours since I'd arrived. I glanced at the clock. _4:30am… _The Task Force had fallen asleep all over the place, and I could still see the back of L's head sitting in the chair from where I was standing. Trying not to make a sound (yes, I'm aware no one can hear me because I'm a shinigami, but it's hard to break habits that formed from when I was human) I snuck around the couch. He was in a very light sleep, still sitting up. I wondered how often he slept for a moment (because he looked really sleep deprived), but then I noticed his giant tray of various sweets. I hadn't eaten since I was a human, and even then I never got enough to eat seeing as I had been dirt poor. Keeping a wary eye on L, I reached over and slyly stole a chocolate chip cookie from the tray.

I directed my glance at the cookie for a second, which was a mistake. L shuffled, and right when I heard it I released the cookie and darted across the room. Of course L heard it, and I felt completely stupid as he started chewing his thumbnail and staring intently at the spot where the cookie had dropped. The world's greatest detective was sure to figure out that I was here if I didn't stop being so careless.

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_I'd like to thank my 'chronic procrastination disease' for keeping me from typing this chapter a week earlier…_

_And since everyone just said something along the lines of 'good work' in the reviews, I'll answer all of them at once:_

_Thanks! XD_

_PLEASE REVIEW!! _


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